I made lasagna, because it's pretty easy even tho I made my own sauce, and I thought since it would be in the oven for a while, I'd have time to change my clothes, but I got caught up making the garlic bread, and a tossed salad with a red wine vinaigrette dressing, and when Will got there, I was still in my CRHS sweatshirt and an old pair of Levi's, and I think I had tomato sauce on my nose I did have the table set, with a tablecloth even, and a new CD on, which was kind of weird just to listen to, but it made good background music. And he said, "You didn't have to do all this for me..." So I said, "I wanted to Will. I really did. Do you like it?" And he said, "It's great. I don't really know what to say." And then he asked if I meant …. and I nodded and said, "Does that mean you're not going to stay?"

But it turned out that he did.

I drank 7-Up with dinner, which he said was really good, so I told him I'm the home ec teacher, so I kind of have to be able to cook, but actually, teaching the classes is making me a better cook. He said he didn't remember seeing Pat Metheny in my CDs the other night and I told him about going to that store and meeting the drummer from the band. He offered to help wash the dishes, and since I washed everything I could before he got there, and there's enough lasagna left that I'll be eating it for a week, there weren't many dishes, and we had them done really quickly, and now he knows where everything is in my kitchen.

Then I made popcorn, and he was surprised that I didn't just use the microwave, but I told him my dad hated microwaved popcorn, so we always made it on the stove. I put the movie on, and we sat on the couch, and he asked me why I was drinking 7-Up and I said I wanted to be sober, and I think that surprised him because he didn't say anything for a minute. We probably didn't really watch much of the movie, because he kept being silly and tickling me, and making fun of D's Left Hand. I told him if he repeated "What is the sound of one hand yapping" one more time I'd have to hurt him, so instead he took the popcorn bowl out of my lap and put it on the coffee table and turned me around and started kissing me, and then the credits were over, and his shirt was on the floor and mine was on the back of the couch, and then I told him I had to go to the bathroom. I lit a cigarette and went in there and took off the rest of my clothes and put on my big fuzzy robe and then I stood leaning against the sink looking at myself in the mirror and smoking until Will knocked on the door asking if I was ok. I opened the door and said I was, and he took my hand and led me into the bedroom, and he put my cigarette out in the ashtray next to my bed. We sat down, and then we laid down, and we were kissing and his hands were so gentle and everywhere, and then he was on top of me and I asked, "Will it hurt?" and he promised, "Not for long," and then I gasped and before I could cry out he kissed me.

It wasn't anything like what I expected, except I don't really know what I expected. Will whispered instructions and encouragement and asked if I was ok and kissed me, and I did what he told me and said I was ok, and eventually I even started to feel good. When it was over, he held me and kissed my forehead and told me I'm beautiful, and I fell asleep with my head nestled in his shoulder.

I woke up in the middle of the night, and I could hear him pacing in the living room. I went out and asked what was wrong, and he said he just doesn't sleep well, so I told him that even though I know I talk a lot, I'm a pretty good listener, too, and I don't gossip, so if he wants to tell me anything, he can. I helped him finish his cigarette, and he came back to bed with me. I woke up again later, and he was in the living room again, but this time I stayed in bed and waited for him.

I woke up in the morning to the doorbell ringing, and Will wasn't in the apartment, so I put on my robe and went to the door, and it was him, with breakfast from the Bonanza, and I made coffee and we cuddled together on the couch eating bagels and trading kisses, and then he laid me back on the couch and this time it didn't hurt at all.

After Will left, I turned my cellphone back on, and saw that Anthony had called sometime yesterday, and so had Justine, and they both left me messages, but I only listened to Anthony's before closing the phone and staring off into space trying to decide how I felt.

 Ok, I don't know how to do the stupid img src thing.

http://www.thecolumnists.com/mcfadden/mcfadden4art1.jpg

That's the dress.